WTF...

Why are all men alike? I don't mean to just lump all men into one big category, but from what I can tell, when it comes to a couple of things, men ARE just alike.

For instance, my ex used to have a habit of shopping for 'things' all the time. I'm not talking about a movie here or a CD there, I'm talking about bigger, more expensive 'things' like computers, or cameras and such. The kicker, though, is that he would HIDE those purchases from me! So, why am I pissed? Because I've always considered major purchases to be a joint decision. What's a major purchase, something over $150 in my book. And typically one partner knows more about the financial well-being of our accounts and bill situation than the other. Unfortunately, it never was him, so we'd often end up in a bind. So then he turned to using credit cards because that wouldn't impact us immediately, he'd say. Oh, but it does! It's a nasty little web, and he'd always get caught! The bad part is that it didn't just affect him, it affected US, and our life style.

I didn't purchase anything that expensive without consulting him first. I knew that if we were living together, paying bills together, and supposedly planning for a future together, it should be OUR decision. And it also feels better to purchase something that you both have agreed on.

Now, that said, this issue reared it's ugly head yesterday. I'm still pissed. I found out that my current BF did the same thing. He bought something (which I knew about and we'd agreed on it) and left all of the wrappings, instructions and trash all over the floor. I, of course, ended up picking it all up. As I did, I found the receipts. Yep, plural, as in more than one receipt. He decided to buy an additional gadget for his new toy, to the tune of $269! OKAY, now the toy itself ended up costing about $200 more than he'd originally told me, but then to find out that he spent an additional $269, that just topped it for me.

I'm so pissed! Why not tell me about it? Why not explain it to me? Don't have me just stumble across it when I'm having to pick up after you like a child (and yes, I left all the crap there for him to pick up for a few days and it didn't happen, so that's why I did it).

You want to hear the irony in all of this? My ex happened to have come over to drop something off when I made the discovery. I flipped, I was yelling, saying, "He's just like you! Why do all men do this?" He just smiled his typical Cheshire cat grin and said, "I told you, we all do it."

Damn. That was one thing I had really hoped I wouldn't have to deal with in the future. I guess I was wrong.

Damn.

Disappointed...

I did something pretty spontaneous this past week. On pretty much a whim, and partially to appease my friend's constant begging, I went to visit my old "friends" where I used to live. I was SO excited, as I've missed not only my friends, but the area we all lived. I couldn't wait to get there and only hoped I would have enough time to do all that I wanted and to see all of my old friends. I just knew we'd have non-stop fun, right? Well, I've learned a lot of lessons over the past few days, such as:

1. People change, and so have I. Some have been good changes, others really aren't so good. In fact, I was shocked at how different some people are now.

2. You can learn a lot about your friends when you're living with them for several days versus just hanging out for the evening. Everyone's fun and happy when it's just a few hours, but after a few days, you start to see who they really are, and you start to worry about them.

3. People who you've always fondly referred to as your "close friend(s)" may not be as close as you'd hope. They stand you up or avoid your calls, and the disappointment I am feeling hurts. I made the effort to buy a plane ticket, make arrangements for my child's care in my absence, take time off from work, and then flew across the country, couldn't you just reciprocate by hanging out or stopping by? YOU wanted me to come, for what???

4. My life doesn't seem so bad after all. I realize I have the BEST kid in the world, a very good outlook on life and I even feel pretty damn good about myself and what I've done with my life thus far.

5. My problems with my beau seem trivial. Yes, they're still annoying and troublesome, but he's very loving, trying to be romantic, and wants to make a better life for him and for us. I think I need to give our relationship some more time to grow and evolve.

6. Last but not least, a few people will never change. And that's a damn shame. Grow up already and get a life. Stop spying on me and talking about mine. Gosh, I never would've thought that even after moving away, I would still be such a HUGE topic of conversation?

Sometimes it just takes an experience, such as this one, to really open your eyes. That whole 'grass is greener' thing is so true! When I was looking back over my life back then, things seemed to be better, friends more real and true. In actuality, we tend to forget some of the reasons why we didn't miss it or mind leaving in the first place.

It was great to fly back home yesterday. It was even better when my bf wrapped me up in a huge embrace, told me how much he'd missed me and loves me, and how glad he was that I was home. That's right, for now I'm content to call this place, and this time in my life, home.