WTF...

Why are all men alike? I don't mean to just lump all men into one big category, but from what I can tell, when it comes to a couple of things, men ARE just alike.

For instance, my ex used to have a habit of shopping for 'things' all the time. I'm not talking about a movie here or a CD there, I'm talking about bigger, more expensive 'things' like computers, or cameras and such. The kicker, though, is that he would HIDE those purchases from me! So, why am I pissed? Because I've always considered major purchases to be a joint decision. What's a major purchase, something over $150 in my book. And typically one partner knows more about the financial well-being of our accounts and bill situation than the other. Unfortunately, it never was him, so we'd often end up in a bind. So then he turned to using credit cards because that wouldn't impact us immediately, he'd say. Oh, but it does! It's a nasty little web, and he'd always get caught! The bad part is that it didn't just affect him, it affected US, and our life style.

I didn't purchase anything that expensive without consulting him first. I knew that if we were living together, paying bills together, and supposedly planning for a future together, it should be OUR decision. And it also feels better to purchase something that you both have agreed on.

Now, that said, this issue reared it's ugly head yesterday. I'm still pissed. I found out that my current BF did the same thing. He bought something (which I knew about and we'd agreed on it) and left all of the wrappings, instructions and trash all over the floor. I, of course, ended up picking it all up. As I did, I found the receipts. Yep, plural, as in more than one receipt. He decided to buy an additional gadget for his new toy, to the tune of $269! OKAY, now the toy itself ended up costing about $200 more than he'd originally told me, but then to find out that he spent an additional $269, that just topped it for me.

I'm so pissed! Why not tell me about it? Why not explain it to me? Don't have me just stumble across it when I'm having to pick up after you like a child (and yes, I left all the crap there for him to pick up for a few days and it didn't happen, so that's why I did it).

You want to hear the irony in all of this? My ex happened to have come over to drop something off when I made the discovery. I flipped, I was yelling, saying, "He's just like you! Why do all men do this?" He just smiled his typical Cheshire cat grin and said, "I told you, we all do it."

Damn. That was one thing I had really hoped I wouldn't have to deal with in the future. I guess I was wrong.

Damn.

Pissed off...

Okay, so I haven't blogged in a while, I know. I started this whole thing to relieve some stress, and it was (ironically) my stress that kept me from blogging. Any who. My BF is in the Guard, and for the past year, has been jerked around about when drill is, when the 2 weeks would be, when he'd get his bonus and so on. It's been a complete nightmare for not only him, but for me since we live together. It would be different if we were just 'dating' and I didn't depend on him for money or shared responsibilities around the house. But I do. So it sucks. And this month has been the absolute worst so far. I am so angry right now. Yes, I know 'that's the military for ya' but it's not right. When he's committed several years to them, they at least owe him what is due. He was supposed to have his bonus 2 weeks ago, and guess what? Still doesn't have it. He did his 2 weeks of required annual training, and guess what? Now they're arguing over WHO should have to pay him! The unit or the detachment? Who cares - pay him and then argue over who to write it off to. This is absolutely putting us into a bind financially because this means he's not getting a paycheck from his regular job since he wasn't working for 2 weeks. Great, huh? We counted on them, just as they have to count on him. Only the issue of reliability seems to be one-sided. Any you know what else? He (BF) doesn't want to 'rock the boat' by complaining. Well, hmmm, how else will this get resolved? It makes me mad that he's not willing to go and fight for what should have been his already. Why isn't his responsibility to me, to our household and family, important enough? I know that I'm just angry, but money is the biggest cause of problems in relationships. He just doesn't seem to get it, though. And all I end up with is a bad headache, stomach ache and a bad attitude because I'm so stressed and pissed off. He gets mad at me for being mad, for thinking he shouldn't take their dumb ass explanations as the final call, that I think he needs to go raise hell until this is fixed. He thinks that what he's told is the way it is. Yeah, right. I've seen it too many times where someone higher up can make things happen. Of course he can't. But he needs to go to someone who can. That's just the way it works.

I hate worrying about money and whether or not I can pay my bills. I hate having to rely on him, much less any man, for this. I wish life were simpler and I wouldn't have to do this. Maybe someday, I won't. But at least if I do have to rely on someone, I wish he were more reliable, or willing to at least fight for what's his.