Funny shit!

Well, I decided to blog about something funny, nice, lovable, etc. instead of all my 'I'm sick of all the BS in my life' posts that I normally do. So here goes.

Kids make me smile, laugh, cry, scream and feel more love than I ever knew was possible. Especially my kids. I say my kids, and I'm including my BF's kids in this category. While I may not have physically given birth to them, I sure as hell love them like they're my own.

Let's start with his baby girl, who I'll call Boo. She's two and a half now, going on 12! And she cracks me up all the time! She talks about herself in third person: that's Boo's ball; it's Boo's turn; I want Boo's cup; etc. Last night, we were goofing around and I told her that I was a Pretty Princess. She hollered, 'No! I'm Pretty Princess Tasha!' (from Backyardigans if you're not aware). I said, "Well, then I'm Snow White!" And she retorted, "NO! I'm Snow Black!" At this point, I'm laughing pretty hard, but I manage, "Then I'm Cinderella!" Not to be outdone, she tells me, "NO! I'm Cinderella's Daddy!" How can you not love that?

She has picked up several habits from me. For instance, every time she sneezed, I would say, "Bless you, Boo." Now, when she sneezes, she barely catches a breath before she follows it up with, Bless you, Boo. She blesses herself! Even in her sleep! And when she coughs, she would say bless you, so I started saying Goodness Gracious. So now, after she coughs, she says, "Gracious, Boo!" She's also picked up a couple of other gems, like "Sucka on your head!" because I tell her daddy that he's got Sucker Written on his Forehead. Rolling her eyes all the time, because I do. She now says, "I love you more". But the best is what she got from her Grandma. She learned to say, "GOSH O'MIGHTY!" Loud and all drawn out, at just the right time, too! It's hilarious! Although Grandma wasn't too thrilled to hear that coming out of the mouth of her sweet, innocent grand daughter!

Let's move on now to his son, who I shall call Shy Boy, or SB for short. SB is a very smart young man. Extremely caring and genuine. SB has a hard time, though, making friends and is extremely opposed to change. When I asked him to take a shower the other day, he just about had a shit in his pants! He ONLY takes baths. I told him it would be fine, and that at the age of 7, he should be comfortable doing that. He said he took a bath once and didn't like it. I explained that you can't just do something one time and make a decision like that. I talked to him about his fears, gave him a few pointers and then topped it off with a $1 bribe. Now, if you know SB, money talks! So off he went. And now, he loves showers! Crazy, huh? Slowly but surely I've been working with him about seeing how change can be a positive thing in his life. It makes me smile to see him growing, learning and feeling better about himself.

SB still says some cute things, like wanting to ride the Ferrist Wheel at the carnival. And telling me that sometimes we have to have bad stuff in our life in order for us to appreciate the good. But my favorite funny memory was from the first night we met, for dinner, for my birthday. As I was saying hello to someone I knew, he said, "This isn't my mom. She's one of my dad's girl friends." Awesome, huh?

Now, time for my sweet darling! Let's call her Cookie. My sweet Cookie has been growing up way too fast for me. First it was the desperate need to start wearing deodorant. Then the beginnings of acne on her face. Then the first boyfriend appeared, and they broke up, and then got back together, but now they're broke up because "What's the point. It's stupid anyways", or so I'm told. And last month, it happened. She casually informs me that she decided to shave her legs. WHAT???!!! Seriously, you just made this decision all on your own? WTF? Don't I get a say? Where'd you find a razor? You used my razor? OMG. This cannot be happening. My sweet baby is no longer a baby any more. Now we're shaving, wearing deodorant AND training bras, bikini style underwear with cute phrases on the butt. Why can't she just watch Barney and play with her Barbies? How did she grow up so fast? Where did she learn that the best way to find ANYTHING is to Google it? That is, after all, how she found out what sex was. Yep, try explaining all the crazy stuff that she found online that time! What's next? I swear to god that I will not be able to breathe if she comes home with tatts and piercings. That's just too damn much - I will not allow my child to become a pin-cushion for Christ's sake!

The good thing is, she does still show signs of innocence. Take this example. One day, on the ride home from school last year, she informs me that she has a boyfriend. SHIT! I thought. Okay... "Tell me about him." She looks at me like I've got two heads or something. I said, "Well, what's he look like?" Still giving me a puzzled look. So I asked her if he was more punk, Hip Hop rapper wannabe, cowboy, prep, athlete or what. She was like, "No, I don't like guys like that." I said, "Well, what kind of guys do you like, then?" She said, "I like my guys plain, just how I like my hamburgers!" WOW! I damn near ran the car off the side of the road from laughing so damn much! I was a little relieved to hear that she goes for the plain guys, though!

And then there's my BF's oldest daughter, who we'll call Rebel. I don't mean that in a bad way, either. She's coming of age now, and quite a smart young lady. She's very aware that her mom and step-dad's opinions don't necessarily match those of the rest of the world. She's been raised (or should I say held captive) primarily by them her entire life. They are isolationists; us against the world kind of folks. Back woods, racist, you don't need friends kind of people. Rebel is starting to question her upbringing, without any one's urging. We listen and help her ask questions and offer various scenarios and possibilities. We urge her to keep an open mind, an open heart and to ask a lot of questions. We urge her to do what feels right in her heart; to listen to her conscience. To see the world through her own eyes. She is very aware that everyone has different opinions and values. But she is also very worried that she's going to make a bad decision. She wants so badly for us to be able to tell her what is right and what is wrong. That's all she's ever known - the value system of other's being force fed to her. She's been told to accept and not question their beliefs. She has asked me things as simple as how to go about finding and getting a job, to the big things like how do you know when you've made the right choice. I've been blown away by her. Rebel is coming along just fine now and I'm so happy to be a part of her discovery of life!